Astrology and Love: Reading Relationships

The second most common request after an individual reading is the couple's (or potential couple's) reading, which seems fairly natural; after knowing about ourselves, we want to know about our potential for love.

There are so many aspects to a person's chart that it's impossible to determine success or failure by an astrology reading, so just like when I'm reading one person's natal chart, I like to be clear with couples that astrology just shows us what two people have to work with and how they intersect. Each soul is on a journey, and the sky can tell us where each begins but not where it is now on its path. With self-awareness and understanding, people can choose love even with difficulty if both parties are willing to do the work.

VENUS and MARS

There are a few basic elements in astrological charts upon which folks fixate that have more nuance than hard and steadfast rules, and yet we as humans love to oversimplify until our dying breath. Venus and Mars in the context of relationships are the most heavily weighted in conversations within astrology as well as the easiest to misinterpret, even and especially with a cursory understanding of astrology. I often hear well, we have a Venus square! there's no way this will work! and while it is certainly the case that people with a square between natal Venus might not work out, this kind of statement misses the complexity of reading astrological charts to begin with and is also a misunderstanding of how planets interact with one another.

When looking at any couple's chart, I'm mostly interested in how one person's Mars behaves with another's Venus and vice versa; I'm interested to see how the way a person loves (Mars) corresponds with another person's ability to receive love (Venus). When these aspects are favorable, loving usually comes easier; there's less misunderstanding and murkiness. Tension between these planets can indicate that there could be intrinsic misunderstandings between two people in what love means and what means love and anger and so on and so forth, and this, obviously can create discord.

THE MOON

Sun current is obviously a good thing, but in relationships, I tend to look more to the Moon for clues as to how two people will work within the context of a relationship. While the Sun represents our ego or identity, the Moon represents our emotional nature and indicates what drives us based on feeling, and so difficulties with the Moon are more pronounced and challenging for couple's to overcome. Think of this this way: most of can get along with people from all walks of life if we vibe, or, in other words, if we emotionally connect. Many successful arguments and debates have been had when the energy between two people allows them to find common ground that way.

I'm also interested in how each person's Moon interacts with the other's Venus and Mars. If this relationship is positive, it is more likely that they will be able to more easily meet one another's needs.

THE SUN

Like I just said, Sun-Sun aspects do not interest me in relational readings, but I do like to see how one person's Sun, or identity/ego, lives in the ecosystem of another person's chart. For example, a Pisces Sun could be intoxicatingly attracted to a person with a lot of Scorpio in their chart, though not in a Sun placement. Pisces wants to live in the depths and wants to be in the underworld to an extent, and Scorpio is the underworld. A person with a lot of Scorpio wants someone who wants to be absorbed, so this partnership is often deep, intense, and enduring.

THE OUTER PLANETS

The influence of the outer planets are usually most seen in the long-game look at a relationship, although their presence is felt early on. These are the planets that more or less determine whether a planet is karmic in nature, or, in other words, whether the relationship will help a person heal through deep, purposeful wounds or to find their destiny.

Relationships where one person's Jupiter has a strong relationship with another person's personal planets are the kinds of relationships that immediately feel expansive. People in these relationships feel big, and dreamy together, or like they can hatch dream-like plans together.

Saturn connections are almost required for long-term relationships; this is the connection that indicates that there is a kind of stability or ability to build something.

Uranus relationships are exciting but can quickly explode; they're exciting, unpredictable, and spontaneous. These relationships are electric, like all planetary connections after Saturn; you will feel electric when together. These are the relationships that often are the affairs that a person will have when they're unhappy in another relationship; they're the meeting that will shake you until you've shook off the things you don't need. They might not last forever, but you will never forget this connection.

A relationship where one person's Neptune corresponds to another's personal planets are ones that are intoxicating and will have you constantly questioning if the other person is actually real--how can this person actually exist? How is this kind of love possible? This relationship has the ability to connect a couple to the sacred or the divine but also can have an illusory effect and can be wrought with denial. These relationships can connect you with all through the love of this other one.

Pluto relationships are easy to identify but hard to get out of because there is so much power involved. The person with Pluto in strong aspect to another person's personal planets will ultimately have the powerful upper hand in the relationship, but the two will be drawn together mutually like a magnet. These relationships have the ability to be empowering and lifelong but also can become abusive. A part of you must die in this relationship so that you can evolve. Any relationship that has a strong aspect to Uranus, Neptune, or Pluto are about evolution; you are meant to transform. And Pluto is the ultimate hammer here.

Today, Venus and Mars are conjunct in the sky during this Full Moon in Leo, so this is a lovely time to feel in love and also to reflect what it is that you want in a loving relationship. All planetary aspects can be worked through if both parties are ready to do the work and to really look at themselves.